Why Santa Claus is awesome

So I bet you’re sitting there thinking to yourself “what the hell bro?” (all you gangsta rappers/Russian gangsters out there), I log on to the net, see this awesome blog titled ‘refreshingly cynical’ and it turns out to be a post that pawns sentimental Christmas claptrap (all you 18th century gentlemen and your gentlemanly ways, nice mustache by the way), and literally weeks before Christmas, you may be savvy of the ways of the internet and lusted at the name as it gave you fantasies of the negativity and vitriol that the internet is infamous for. Well firstly it is my opinion that it is not vulgar to write about Christmas related things in the same month as Christmas, secondly I have a point I promise, it’ll be hidden somewhere (because why should I do all the work right?) So to all those gangstas and MCs rockin them mics, chill, I ain’t trippin, MC cynic is gonna learn you something, and to all those 18th century gentlemen, good day to you sir. (On a side not i am pandering a little bit based on the season, because tis the season to pander)

So if I asked you ‘the reader’ the question ‘why is santa awesome?’ I’m sure your mind would conjour up a number of reasons. On top of that list would be the fact that he comes bearing gifts (don’t deny it), you might also like that he’s jolly and red, he’s the personification of kindness of goodwill, he can see you when you’re sleeping. (ok scratch the last one, it is a little creepy). But you would be mostly incorrect, his best feature is the fact that he doesn’t exist. Now if you’re not a child and you didn’t know this nugget of information (all 5 of you) then you are either really dense, naive or hang around with people who are eager to deceive you (maybe all three), if you are a child and you are reading this, WHY ARE YOU READING THIS? Go outside! Climb a tree! Eat too much sherbet, watch cartoons for 2 hours and crash out into a sugar coma! (y’know the things kids do)

Are they gone?

Good then let’s continue. I have a theory, Santa Claus is very important to a learning and developing child, Santa Claus will teach you a number of valuable lessons.

Lesson 1: People will deceive you

You remember when you found out? Maybe you walked in on a family member sneaking presents under the tree and scoffing the chocolate biscuits, maybe you gave into peer pressure when your peers decided to stop being ‘babies’ and ‘childish’, maybe your parents just gave in and told you and maybe through all this you had pretty much figured it out yourself (how can anyone be so jolly in such horrible weather.) All the time before you found out you were being lied to, not a serious lie, no a life and death lie, just a white lie.

Lesson 2: People will deceive you, regardless of morals

I am not going to go into the morality of deceit, some say deceit is flat out untrustworthy and the worst of the cardinal sins, some say a lie can be beneficial if small enough or you find yourself in a unique situation. The long and short of it is the Santa Claus lie is a harmless lie, it’s like a small lie to enter the system to tell kids that people are capable of deceit.

Lesson 3: Your parents love you and want to preserve the fantasy and innocence of a child’s mind

Things people say in life are mostly judged on context, the context of the Santa lie is of love and preservation of childish wonder.

In my opinion the best thing about the Santa lie is its potential to create new critical thinkers. In an age of media misinformation it is important to sort out biases and agendas in what is being said. The Santa lie is a practice lie, to sort what the truth is and what the agenda of telling you otherwise was, in this case it came from a good place and no harm is done, and the child will now look out in future. Ultimately people may deceive you and will have an agenda, whether it comes from a good place (e.g love) or a bad place (e.g ego, hatred, jealousy, greed).

This Santa lie however can be bad for faith, if the existence one spiritual being of nigh impossible power and omniscience is shown to be false then what’s to stop the existence of another spiritual being to be equally false, especially as it is for child’s mind to wonder. I remain impartial on whether this lack of faith is a good result, but it is good for people to ask questions and not follow blindly.

Of course you all may be thinking that i am talking out of my ass and you are well within your right to, the right to disagree is a wonderful feature of the internet and free speech, as is the ability to open up debate and discussion.

Great now I’ve sucked the fun out of Christmas, I love the holidays! Now I just have to figure out how to suck the fun out of Kwanzaa…….


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